This week, Dick and Gwen are burnt out. Between moving, mental health, and heart complications that Dick is dealing with, we thought it would be a good time to talk about how to maintain dynamics and kink when life and/or disability seems to be always getting in the way. We cover how to make adjustments to your dynamic under stress, how to manage disability and polyamory, and more.
Stress and Kink
We open up the show by reminiscing on how this is the last recording in our current house. Over the next couple of weeks, we’ll be moving right before Dick has heart surgery, so we explain that our friends at The Dildorks and The Bed Post Podcast were kind enough to let us release one of their episodes each for the next couple of weeks until Dick recovers. This means that in three weeks, we’ll be back to our regularly scheduled programming. All this to say, we’re slightly sentimental about leaving the current studio, but we don’t have the mental energy to be too upset about it.
How Stress and Kink Affect Us
Dick’s upcoming surgery is actually what prompted us to do an episode on this topic. We mentioned a few weeks ago in our tickling episode that Dick became easily worn out, which has been happening frequently lately due to the battery in his pacemaker dying. Because of this, he’s also been mentally worn down, because he’s constantly worried that something is going very wrong with his body, considering his pacemaker is not functioning properly. Gwen has also been dealing with a lot related to getting her epilepsy medication figured out, and has been dealing with a lot of mental and emotional stress in general.
Gwen typically wants more kink in her life while she’s stressed, while Dick often doesn’t have the capacity for it. Gwen especially craves kink when she’s dealing with acute emotional pain, but she struggles with not feeling right asking Dick for that when he’s not feeling his best either. Since Dick often deals with physical challenges due to his disability, Gwen feels like her mental/emotional pain is not as important as his “real” pain. Gwen of course knows that this is a bad take and wants to change this thought process, so Dick explains why he doesn’t want her to feel this way. With this thought process, Gwen is essentially saying that Dick’s mental/emotional problems aren’t as important as his physical ones either, which Gwen obviously doesn’t believe. Just like Gwen respects Dick’s feelings, she should let Dick make accommodations to help her with her own when he offers, even if he’s not feeling his best.
One way we’ve come up with to incorporate kink when Gwen is feeling strong emotional pain is to engage in something we don’t typically do, such as a quick spanking. This is because it’s something that will help take her mind off of things without associating the play we typically do with negative feelings.
Managing Relationships and Polyamory
We also talk about how difficult it is to manage relationships and polyamory when everyone in the relationship isn’t doing well. We often encounter times where one of us is struggling in life and the other person is able to be a stable rock, but lately it’s felt like everyone in our polycule is struggling. Gwen talks about how difficult it is to help others, or to expect help when everyone in a relationship dynamic is struggling, but essentially, we get through it by making compromises and giving and taking where we’re able to.
Lastly, we answer listener questions about how to remind each other about our dynamic without going into a full scene, how to shut out the “real-world” when you’re trying to get your kink on, and how to manage guilt when you’re feeling stressed or burnt out.
Related Information
Thanks for listening! If you enjoyed this one, you’d probably like episodes 263, 249, and 090.
If you want to learn more about how to manage kink when you’re busy, check out Gwen’s blog post on 5 Ways to Fit in Kink When You’re Busy.
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