This week we sat down with Magic to talk about kink and neurodiversity, and more specifically, how their kink life has changed since they discovered they have autisme sat down with Magic to talk about kink and neurodiversity—more specifically, how their kink life has changed since they discovered they have autism, as well as how it affects negotiation, communication, and play. We also dive into fear play and their journey as a queer kinky sex worker.
Magic’s Introduction to Kink
Magic is pretty sure they’ve always been kinky, and some of their first kinky memories are of being in the car as a child and fantasizing about sex and kink happening outside of the car window. They would also frequently steal and read their mom’s bodice ripper novels. Then they got unfettered access to the internet as a twelve-year-old, which led them onto Tumblr and Literotica. They eventually found a master post of self-bondage tutorials, which they then began to practice. They went to their first munch as soon as they turned eighteen and got involved in their local community. The leather community really appealed to them, and they found themselves to be a relatively heavy masochist. Unfortunately, playing with kink so early in life made it so they were unaware of a lot of safety precautions, so they ended up with carpal tunnel from self-bondage. However, they learned lots more about safety after going to their first munch, and now they try to talk more about sex education.
Fear Play
When it comes to fear play, Magic likes to play along the lines of death threats, threats of mutilation, and blackmail. This is a very real fear for them as they’re a grad school student who has a lot to lose if their kink identity was discovered. Gwen finds this interesting, because she feels unable to be scared or threatened by a partner she trusts, knowing that they would never actually do anything along the lines of the threats involved. However, she’s really interested in playing with jump scares and her fear of the dark.
Kink and Neurodiversity
Along with the recent discovery that they have autism, Magic has had to do a lot of reprocessing trauma through the lens of knowing that they’re neurodivergent. Their autism has affected relationships they have with folks in their local community that they may not be able to fix, but they think things could have gone more smoothly if they had known about their autism at the time. They also realized that the only way they could keep friends is with people who were also autistic, because it greatly impacts their communication and how they behave in conflicts.
How Kink and Neurodiversity Affect Play
Something Magic has been pondering recently is whether they truly like impact, or if it’s just another form of stimming. Their favorite form of stimming is putting pressure on themselves, and in kink they love getting stepped on, kicked, hit, and other various forms of pressure. Max also finds that pressure is one of his biggest ways of stimming, and he finds pleasure in a lot of the same things as Magic. They describe how one of their favorite scenes included them being co-topped by three people, and they deeply enjoyed the overstimulation involved. One downside is that they can’t play with overstimulation too much, or else they’ll disassociate and not be truly present for the scene.
Lastly, Magic answers listener questions about interpreting subtle social cues while playing, what to do if you go nonverbal during a scene, and how neurotypical people can help neuroatypical people in their local communities.
Related Information
Thanks for listening! If you enjoyed this one, you’d probably like episodes 266, 262, and 215.
Find more of Magic:
Website
Fetlife
ManyVids
Clips4Sale
Fansly
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