This week, Dick and Gwen decided to dedicate a full episode to talking about subspace! We talked about what this headspace is like for each of us, how we access it, and its level of importance to our kink dynamic.
What Subspace Feels Like
We are so excited to dive into this topic because in our opinion, subspace is one of the most sought after and fascinating aspects of kink and BDSM. We start out by describing our different headspaces that we experience in subspace. Dick has been suffering from vertigo lately, which made him realize that subspace sort of feels similar to him, but without the negative effects. It feels light and floaty, and his mental processes feel very dumbed down. Dick also suffers from racing thoughts and struggles to keep up with the pace of his mind, but in subspace, his mind feels clear and focused only on one task, which is being devoted to his partner.
We both experience a physical dropping sensation when entering subspace. It’s like a repeated sinking sensation that happens in our sternum as long as we’re in it. Our breathing gets heavier, and Gwen finds herself explosively and uncontrollably bursting into laughter. Dick talks lower and slower, and he breathes much more properly than he does in everyday life. He feels floaty and spaced out, but focused on whatever task he needs to complete at the same time.
Subspace and Memory
We also find that this headspace heavily interferes with our memories. We don’t black out or anything serious, but scenes can often feel like a blur if we’re deeply in subspace. We’re able to recall things that happened during the scene, but it can be challenging to remember specifics and mental images. It’s hard to explain because it’s all there and we remember what happened if the other person mentions it, but we can’t remember what happened on our own.
Can the Depth of Subspace Vary?
Gwen asks Dick his thoughts on whether or not subspace has different levels of “depth.” Dick explains that for him, there’s subspace, and the journey to it. If he doesn’t complete the journey, it’s not the same experience as if he were to enter subspace. He doesn’t think he experiences “mild” or “intense” versions, he’s just in it or he’s not. The journey can be rapid, or it can be a very slow and drawn out drop. He also reaches a “bottom” of his headspace where he can’t go any deeper.
Conversely, Gwen definitely thinks she experiences varying levels of subspace. There are certain things that will put her into subspace immediately, like getting slapped in the face. If she’s slapped in the face once she might be in subspace for two minutes, whereas if it’s continued, she’ll continue to drop deeper. Gwen doesn’t think there’s a limit to how deeply she can go into it, and if there is, she hasn’t found it yet.
Finally, we answer listener questions about how mindfulness relates to subspace, how we feel about people who use it as a method of gatekeeping in the kink community, and the most inconvenient times it’s happened to us.
Related Information
Thanks for listening! If you enjoyed this one, you’d probably like episodes 006, 084. and 243.
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