This week we sat down with Miss Dizzy and Pup Rekkr from a new kink podcast, The Kinky Tavern. We asked them about their dynamic in which they share a fairly equal power structure, as well as what they get up to with pet play, blood play, and even blood drinking!
The Kinky Tavern’s Introduction to Kink
Miss Dizzy’s Radioactive Spider Bite Into Kink began with (self-described) daddy issues. That’s where it started, and once she really got into kink, it opened her eyes to all of the kinky things she had never thought of before. Ever since then, she’s been working on finding her place in the community and discovering more of her interests. We talk a bit about how people are judgemental about people having daddy issues instead of judging fathers for causing childhood trauma.
Pup Rekkr describes how he thinks he was born kinky, but he didn’t think about it too much until he was in a bad friends with benefits-style relationship. Things ended pretty badly and he was looking to have more control in his life, and he thought that kink would be a healthy and fun way to exercise control. He then found chatrooms, Fetlife, and found local events from there. The Kinky Tavern podcast is a project they started recently to reach even more people in the kink community.
Dynamics with Equal Power Structure
We dive into their dynamic in which they share a relatively equal power structure. In the beginning of their relationship Miss Dizzy was a pretty heavy bottom for Pup Rekkr, doing impact, knife play and cutting, and DD/lg. Over time she developed chronic pain and she wasn’t able to handle most of the things she used to bottom for. Thankfully she had a great kink-friendly therapist who helped take her negative feelings about not being able to bottom in the same way as she used to and helped her transform them into something positive.
If there was one moment that switched her from a submissive to a dominant, it was when she helped a friend with a photoshoot where she posed with a flogger surrounded by women in bondage. She used one of the women as a footstool, and the feelings of power changed her as a person. Just roleplaying as a dominant helped her get a sense of what it would feel like, so she started out in kinky thinking she could never top, and ended up realizing that it actually fits her identity better. Gwen relates to how forcing yourself to roleplay for things like photoshoots helps her get outside of her comfort zone and come up with new kink ideas. Additionally, she’s noticed that many women specifically find their dominant side when they see representations outside of the traditional pro-domme model.
In their dynamic, there are some days where Miss Dizzy is little and Pup Rekkr is her daddy, and other days where Pup Rekkr comes home and needs to be in pup space, so Miss Dizzy takes on her handler role. Depending on who needs to be on the bottom side of the D/s slash, they communicate their needs, pay attention to each other’s body language and signs, and decide on their roles depending on who needs what that day.
Impact Play, Chronic Pain, and Disability
Miss Dizzy delves deeper into how her disability has affected her kink journey. Within two years in the community she started noticing pain becoming more intense and unbearable, and for a while she tried pretending to like it in order to make herself like it. After a while she realized this wasn’t sustainable, which is around the time she did the photoshoot that made her realize she has a dominant side. When negotiating she asks her bottom for help with setting up the scene, and she asks if he can employ Pup Rekkr’s help with impact if she gets tired out. Topping for knives and cutting is also great because she can do it sitting down. Gwen recommends making submissives hurt themselves if you’re a top who struggles with chronic pain. As far as bottoming, Miss Dizzy also realized that she can still bottom in a multitude of ways without taking any pain, and these days she channels most of her bottoming into her DD/lg dynamic.
The hosts of The Kinky Tavern also answers listener questions about engaging in blood play at dungeons, what they love about blood drinking, and how navigating disability affects Miss Dizzy’s negotiations.
Related Information
Thanks for listening! If you enjoyed this one, you’d probably like episodes 088, 220, and 234.
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