By guest blogger HerpaDerp
Just about everyone in the kink community has experienced a drop. You know what? They really fucking suck. They can sneak up out of nowhere and it feels like you have been smacked into the ground. Drops vary from person to person, and I am going to share a little bit of my drop experiences with you today.
Let’s cover what a drop is first. A drop is a commonly used term in the kink scene where you feel as if your mental state has dropped to a low point. You had all these wonderful endorphins running around in your brain making you all happy and feeling fabulous from a scene, play or any number of situations. Suddenly, you feel a shift in your mood, your energy as an individual. You feel something is off but you just don’t know it. This can come from a scene with a partner or from a single event in your life that meant a lot to you. A drop could vary from depression like feelings, or just the vague feeling that something is off. Drop presents differently to everyone and you know your body best.
Description: A sad person with their head resting on their hand.
Another way that you can experience a drop is from going to an event. Picture this: you just went to this wonderful kinky event. You were in a place where you felt at home and seen like you never have before. Maybe it was one of the best weekends of your kinky life!! As always, the event ends and you have to pack up and go back to normal life. You might be riding a bit off that endorphin high, but it often doesn’t last long. Now you have to go back to work, see family or maybe other people you feel like you can’t be yourself around. Your body is now coming down from the endorphins and adrenaline, and it feels like you’re crashing. This is often referred to as con-drop.
Bottom line when it comes to drop: it just fucking sucks. When I experience it, normally my dysphoria acts up. I don’t feel centered at all, I know something is off but I just can’t tell what. I don’t like to see myself in the mirror because the imposter syndrome kicks in. I don’t feel validated in any way. All of those feelings are normal for me when I have a drop. When I realize I am having a drop, I start to ground myself and do self care. From music, playing video games or taking a nice long hot shower, these things are my own ways of self care for a drop or just when I have a bad day. They are called self care for a reason, because they fucking work.
Description: Tea, candles and books perched above a running bath.
Self care looks different for everyone. If you don’t know what makes yourself feel grounded, try to think of what relaxes you. That helps center yourself and bring you back to your normal state of being. It could be your favorite candle, a calming drive or maybe a walk. Many kinksters swear by soft blankets and chocolate. Your self care style is as unique as you are.
Let’s say you are experiencing a drop from an awesome badass amazing scene you had recently with your partner. Reach out to them! I cannot urge you enough to get in contact with your partner the day after or almost a week after. Drop experiences vary from person to person and when and how they occur. It’s a good idea to let your partner know that you are experiencing a drop. They can help to sooth and encourage you when it’s difficult to do it on your own.
I hope I could help some people with my own experience from having a drop. This blog post was actually written during a drop, and I would even say writing it has been a really valuable part of my self care. Just remember: you are not alone when you have a drop. Reach out to your partner, friend, or family. They are there to help you come back and be the badass person that you are. I know that’s what my little bear did for me.
Take care all,
Herp
