Faced with a rapidly shifting economy and a global pandemic, many people have turned to online sex work as a means to make ends meet. It’s not altogether shocking; sex work is, after all, the oldest profession. What might be shocking to some, however, are the many different types of sex work that exist. Selling used items such as panties or socks to cater to foot fetishists and pantysniffers, booking “girlfriend experiences” for lonely folk, spit fetish videos, armpit worship photosets, small penis humiliation sexting sessions—if you can name it, it’s out there. But for those who are brainstorming and researching pimping out their kinks for money, financial domination is a seemingly glamorous fetish that may be one of the most attractive.
Findom and Twitter
Financial domination, or findom as it is popularly known, is the act of dominating a submissive monetarily. A far more niche kink than the scene might have you believe, findom can range from a simple one-time payment to cover a Domme’s coffee, to scheduled regular payments, or even to unlimited banking access or hardcore budget control. Although findom content can be found across a variety of platforms and situations both on the net and in real life, Twitter has, for whatever reason, become the social media platform that has been most heavily adopted by the findom community. Online financial domination primarily revolves around the sending of “tributes,” i.e. financial sacrifices/tips, to Dommes through online payment processing.
NSFW/Findom Twitter is rife with beautiful young women bragging about being lavished with expensive gifts for seemingly nothing in return. Although this SparkNotes version would lead one to believe that this is an easy way to make money, the popularity of financial domination has become a double-edged sword. The market has quickly become oversaturated with a plethora of people (and people posing as other people; just google catfish finDomme) demanding money from online submissives, with nothing to offer in terms of risk-aware consensual kink in return. Oftentimes, budding Dommes turn to findom without ever having taken the time to evaluate the intentions or meanings behind the actions in financial domination. Unfortunately, the situation is such that purveyors of the kink are struggling as they find that meaningful financial play is quickly becoming lost in the hubbub that is the current Twitter findom kink scene. Findom is more nuanced than bullies on the internet just demanding money; it requires expertise.
“Becoming a financial dominant is about tapping into my intellectual superior self and showing power and skill” (@heaven2agoddess).
Kimberly holding a pair of handcuffs
Money for Nothing? Not Exactly.
For a kink that has “financial” in the title, one might be surprised to find out is that findom is, in actuality, not much about the money. As a Domme who plays with findom quite frequently, I can confirm that, while yes, the money is a turn on (it’s absolutely Pavlovian), what I am really aroused by is the sacrifice made when someone tributes me with their hard-earned cash. In speaking with my Domme peers and sub comrades in the findom community on Twitter, I found that the feeling was universal; what makes financial domination erotic is not the money itself but rather what it represents. When speaking on the symbolism of money in a findom relationship, a finsub, @goonboi7, stated:
For me, the money in findom is just a medium. In the relationship it plays different roles. Most often it is a way for me to show my dedication: that I am thinking of her, that I want to give her something, and that I give it freely from affection and care. Other times it is a way for her to hurt me…. It is a concrete way for her to take from me, to cause real pain.
Another online submissive, @bslave11, broke it down into three key elements, and money was not one of them:
Of course findom is gonna hurt your bank a little because you’re sending money but there’s so much more to it….The bond that can be formed between a Domme and sub is way more important than that money itself. Devotion, loyalty and appreciation are three of the key aspects.
Dedication, pain, affection, devotion, loyalty, and appreciation—not one of these things is money. Yes, these things all are concepts that the cash can represent in financial play, but what they really point to is power exchange, a form of tangible adoration. I spoke with @theonlinerando, a submissive who also runs www.destroyallmen.com. He confirmed this notion in the most easy to understand terms:
Findom is about transfer of power. Through your devotion and sacrifice, you exchange your power for theirs, the power for them to have more choices, more opportunities and more joy in their lives because you accept less.
To me, the power exchange that happens in findom is about the demonstration of adoration, the cultivation of pleasure, and the taboo of using finance in play. @thehoneydeity agrees:
Findom is definitely a power play. Money is such a powerful entity in the modern world and to sacrifice it for the sake of your superior is the biggest show of devotion.
Many people see wealth as a measure of success. Many Dommes complain about the validity of small tributes, however, I find it important to remember that the amount of sacrifice that goes into $50 for a someone who works a minimum wage job versus $500 tributes from a CEO is different. @sweet_shae22 says of findom:
“My kink is their selflessness benefitting me…. Like the world revolves around money. So, for you to give that up for my gain, that’s the shit….”
The level of selflessness involved in worshiping someone with your hard-earned cash is a power exchange in and of itself, but when D/s dynamics are involved, there is an incredibly intimate level of trust and control required. It’s so much more than just “Money plz!”
Hands holding a variety of currency.
But Findom is So Destructive/Going Broke Is Fun
Financial domination does get an incredibly bad rap for being a destructive kink. There are many naysayers out there when it comes to findom; some people write off the kink entirely as being addictive and damaging to submissives who engage in it. Even fellow sex workers will often put down finDommes by saying that their kink is not legitimate. To some extent, the idea that financial play can be destructive is one that is not entirely incorrect. It can be destructive. There is intimacy cultivated in secrets. There is a mindlessness in financially submitting, in letting someone make your decisions for you. Many finsubs enjoy being manipulated, operating only to serve the whims of another person. Some submissives enjoy debt, blackmail, homewrecking, ruination, or living on the bare minimum to tribute as much as possible to their Domme. Sure, sounds a little extreme, but in kink, what isn’t? At a base level, doubters ignore the fact that RACK and PRICK still apply to financially-based kinks and safe kink players within the community still are concerned with informed, enthusiastic consent. @pray2kingkourt discusses some of the heavier financial servitude acts:
They literally beg for it….This is something they seek us for. So no one needs to save them.
I think that an aspect many misunderstand is that financial play as a kink is no more likely to be abusive than any other heavy form of play. Consenting financial submissives are not being exploited; they’re being given exactly what they consented to.
From both the side of the submissive and the Domme, financial domination can be a captivating experience, just as any kink play can be. We are in a time when there are many different fetishes, not to mention finDommes, to choose from, when anyone has the ability to make a Twitter handle. It is important to remember that with the partners we choose, paid or unpaid, there are always motivations behind our actions. Especially in D/s play like financial domination, considering who you choose to exchange power with is significant. Financial domination is just one kink out of an infinite possibility of kink, but for me and others like me, findom is a way to explore where domination and the taboo of power intersect. Money makes the world go round, and play involving money may be some of the most powerful—so maybe financial domination just makes cents.
You can reach Mistress Kimberly Killjoy at Yes Mistress Kim
