When Dick and I started Off the Cuffs three and a half years ago, I was pretty set in my ways. I knew which kinks I was into, which kinks didn’t turn me on at all, and shamefully, which ones I found “weird.”
Three and a half years later and that’s all out the window. I’m willing to listen to anyone talk about
anything these days, and I’d like to think I’m open minded enough to even explore some kinks or
fetishes that used to do absolutely nothing for me. Here are some of the most memorable ones I’ve
gotten into over the past few years and why I started exploring them…
1. Sneaker fetish, episode 66
I am a lifelong foot fetishist. The very first fetish I ever explored was feet, going back to my teen years of
sneaking peeks at Leg Show magazine. However, in over twenty years of sexualizing feet, I was always
more into boots and high heels. When we talked with Kellie from the Being There podcast, she talked
about how she was mostly vanilla, but loved wearing sneakers because that was a way for her to feel
pretty and sexy yet still feel comfortable. Something about that explanation made sense to me; I had to
explore the fetish. What I learned was fascinating: sneaker fetishists tend to fall into two categories:
sneakers as use in trampling, smelling, and other forms of humiliation play, which I obviously find hot as
an emotional masochist, and the aesthetic of sneakers. Like a lot of fetishes, this can get very specific
with colors, brands, etc. I learned I love seeing a foot enshrouded in either a Converse Chuck Taylor
high-top, an Adidas shell toe, or, if I’m doing an age play scene, a classic pair of Keds. Now, if you can
combine the aesthetic with the play, I’d consider that a fun time.
2. Rope, episode 50
I suppose I’m a little deficient as a BDSM educator by not being a “rope person.” Some of our listeners
can spend hours discussing complex knots and styles of Shibari, and that’s just never been for me. I
tried suspension once and got bored waiting for the actual part where I get suspended. And once I was
suspended my thoughts were essentially “this is fine. It’s not doing anything for me, but it’s fine.” This is
a little paradoxical, because I love being restrained. Handcuffs and leather cuffs are different; they take
less time and there’s no art involved; I suppose. Talking to Lee Harrington on Off the Cuffs made me
rethink rope, though. Lee talked about how as much fun as it can be to learn the intricacies of rope and
immerse oneself in rope culture, there’s nothing wrong with quick, simple ties intended to cause
restraint or pain to the bottom partner. I had forgotten (or perhaps never really learned) that. I’m still
not going to rope shares or doing complex suspensions, but if you have rope that can leave decent burns
and can make a quick hog tie as part of a larger impact scene, I’m in.
3. Wedgies, Patreon Bonus Episode
I had never considered wedgies a kink before we talked with Sleepy Bap, who earned the chance to talk
about whatever he wanted to by donating money to our Patreon. When I heard we were going to be
talking about wedgies I figured that he either liked the feeling of having his underwear ride up (which,
let’s be honest, can feel kind of nice, as can picking it out), or that he fetishized the visual of underwear
in butt cracks (also very sexy). A lot of the discussion, however, centered around bullying and giving a
wedgie as a classic schoolyard bully move. Now, if you listen to our show at all, you know that power
exchange is really where most of my kinks stem from and that I really love to roleplay different scenarios
that involve power exchange. You also know I’m a humiliation and degradation slut who loves pushing
my limits occasionally. Bullying fits these criteria very nicely, as it’s probably (unfortunately) how most of
us first encountered the idea of abuse of power. I was horribly bullied throughout my childhood and
early adolescence, mostly thanks to undiagnosed autism. But, of course, by choosing to be a bullying
victim, I feel that I am reclaiming my power. I no longer feel powerless and afraid. Well, I do, but in a
good way. It feels like I have control over the things I didn’t all those years ago. And it never crossed my
mind that the simplest way to bring me to that headspace would be to just grab the waistband of my
underwear and yank.
What’s interesting to me about my discoveries is that when we set out to do Off the Cuffs is that I
assumed I’d be doing most of the educating. Not in the traditional sense necessarily, but more because
I’d be bringing the listeners different guests to learn from every week. I had forgotten that at times
teachers can make good students.
